Falling in space

Yes. It is a dog with rastas (weird?) and me jumping. Both of us in Davos.

ONeill Evolution and European Open are done. I screwed up in both events not making the easiest boxes to the end. It´s a bitter pill to swallow but at the same time it´s so much bad luck that it makes me feel as if it was simply supposed to be that way. I liked the jumps and generally felt good snowboarding but it was just not supposed to work out to do good in those events.

Everything is a bit off these days. The beautiful biking on the bike path balance from Breckenridge is totally gone, i feel like an astronaut falling in space these days. You dont know if you move, if you fall, if you get pulled some direction or if you might get sucked in by the next black hole out there. Somehow there is no feeling for time but I am constantly stressed, there is so many things to do but I wonder what i really do them for. I just want to sleep but then i can´t fall asleep and even though i know i should be hungry i don´t want to eat but when i eat i can´t stop. Well in clear words everything is off.

The magic tools such as playing piano, swimming pools and singing along music can´t cure me this time and even the cat that usually calms me down prefers to spit all over my keyboard instead of helping me out of the labyrinth right now. Things are off.

But here we come to one of the most important challenges in life. Turning bad things into good things. Since things are difficult right now the likelyness of them getting better is very high. If i score myself on a shitty-feeling-scale right now (1 – i wouldnt mind dying right now, it wouldnt matter to the world anyways and 10 i want to sing scream and jump from joy) i think i deserve a 3 out of 10. So there is 7 better steps and only 2 worse ones. The future looks good. Also sometimes it might be good to be totally lost since thats the only way to find something truely new. As long as you have a hold onto something from the past, as long as you see your bike path, the chances of something absolutely different and amazingly new arent as high. I´m so lost right now i dont know where up and down is, so it will be really interesting to see where space spits me out next.

The future looks promising even though i can´t see it.

Posted on by Silvia Posted in Diary

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